Understanding Self-Harm and Depression: A Guide for Young People
Updated: Aug 4
Self-harm is when a person deliberately hurts their own body as a way of coping with overwhelming emotional distress. It is important to understand that self-harm is not usually an attempt to end one's life. Instead, it is most often an attempt to manage unbearable feelings when no other coping mechanism feels available.
Young people who self-harm are not seeking attention in the dismissive sense that phrase is sometimes used. They are communicating distress in the only language available to them at that moment.
The Prevalence of Self-Harm Among Young People
According to the World Health Organization, self-harm is most common among young people aged 15 to 24. It is significantly more prevalent among girls than boys, although it affects young people of all genders, backgrounds, and cultures. Understanding this can help us approach the topic with empathy and awareness.
Warning Signs to Look For
Parents and educators should be aware of the following signs, which may indicate a young person is struggling:
Unexplained cuts, bruises, or burns, particularly on arms, legs, or stomach.
Wearing long sleeves or long trousers in warm weather.
Withdrawal from friends, family, and activities they previously enjoyed.
Significant changes in mood, eating, or sleeping patterns.
Expressions of hopelessness, worthlessness, or feeling like a burden.
Giving away possessions or saying goodbye in ways that feel final.
It is important to note that the presence of one or more of these signs does not confirm that a young person is self-harming. However, it is always worth paying attention and creating space for a conversation.
How to Respond with Compassion
If you suspect a young person is self-harming, the most important thing you can do is respond with calm, compassion, and without judgment. A response of shock, anger, or disgust, while understandable, is likely to cause the young person to shut down and hide the behavior more carefully.
Try to find a quiet, private moment to say simply:
"I have noticed that you seem to be going through something difficult. I am not here to judge you. I just want you to know that I am here and I care about you."
Then listen. Resist the urge to fix, advise, or minimize. Just listen.
Professional support is essential and should be sought as soon as possible through a doctor, school counselor, or mental health professional.
How Bibliotherapy Can Help
Books cannot treat self-harm. That must be said clearly. Professional support is always the priority.
However, books can do something that professional appointments and well-being programs sometimes cannot. They can reach a young person in their private space, in their own time, without the vulnerability of face-to-face disclosure.
Reading about a character who has navigated similar darkness and found their way toward healing can reduce the sense of shame and isolation that often keeps young people locked in cycles of self-harm. It can open conversations that direct approaches cannot.
At The Harbour Library, our Safe Harbour and Steady Waters collections contain titles that speak to young people navigating extreme emotional distress with honesty and compassion. We recommend these always as a complement to professional support rather than a replacement for it.
The Power of Stories
Stories have a unique ability to connect us. They can help us feel seen and understood. When we read about characters facing challenges similar to our own, it can be comforting. It reminds us that we are not alone in our struggles.
Books can serve as a bridge to understanding emotions and experiences. They can provide insights and perspectives that may be hard to articulate. This is why bibliotherapy is such a valuable resource.
If You or Someone You Know Needs Help Now
Please reach out to a mental health professional, doctor, or school counselor immediately. In a crisis, contact your local emergency services or a crisis helpline in your country. The International Association for Suicide Prevention maintains a directory of crisis centers worldwide at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/.
You are not alone. Help is available. And healing is possible.
Find supportive reading at www.theharbourlibrary.com.
Conclusion: Embracing Hope and Healing
In conclusion, understanding self-harm and depression is crucial for fostering a supportive environment for young people. By recognizing the signs and responding with compassion, we can help those in distress feel seen and heard.
Bibliotherapy can be a powerful tool in this journey. It can provide solace and understanding, opening doors to healing. Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength. Together, we can create a community that nurtures mental and emotional well-being.
References
Hawton, K., Saunders, K.E., & O'Connor, R.C. (2012). Self-harm and suicide in adolescents. The Lancet, 379(9834), 2373-2382.
International Association for Suicide Prevention. (2023). Crisis centres directory. IASP.
National Institute for Health and Care Excellence. (2022). Self-harm: Assessment, management and preventing recurrence. NICE Guidelines.
Nock, M.K. (2010). Self-injury. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 6, 339-363.
World Health Organisation. (2021). Suicide worldwide in 2019: Global health estimates. WHO.
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